I understand
by Xxxx4evaSummerxxxx
Summary: (Alternate Ending to 3x10) On the rooftop Zig and Esme find Maya near the edge and try to talk her down /one-shot


**A/n: Hello Degrassi fandom! I'm Summer. I'm new here, I've never written anything for this fandom before, but I'm pretty excited. I haven't been watching the show for long, I've watched the three seasons of Degrassi: The Next Class on Netflix. I loved it so much! Everything is so real. It's such a perfect mix or seriousness and comedy. I adored season 3. Maya's depression storyline is my favorite, because I can somewhat relate to it. This does have spoilers for 3X10. So if you haven't seen it I'd advise not to read. Also trigger warning for depression, suicidal thoughts and ideation. This is an alternate ending to 3x10. I do not own the show by any means. (I do quote Zig and Esme in the beginning to line up with the ending, so the first couple sentences don't belong to me either). Sorry for the lengthy intro, I hope you enjoy.**

"Finally some privacy" Esme says as she opens the door to the roof and leads Zig outside.

"I didn't know that you could get up here"

"Isn't it better then Miles stupid play" Esme says, glad to finally be out of the horrid environment. It brought back to many memories of being in the hospital with her mother before she died. "We crossed off parking lot off our bingo card, so I figured I had to look for some new spots" She said, more then willing to do anything to distract herself from the flashbacks.

Zig smiled at her. "So that's why you wanted to ditch the play, why didn't you just say so?"

Esme tippy toed to kiss him, but something caught the corner of her eye. She saw a figure near the edge of the roof, looking down.

"Zig" She says in a quiet tone, knowing if she spoke to loud it was startle the person. Who she's having a hard time distinguishing in the night time sky. All the playfulness was gone from her voice. He turned to meet where she was staring.

"Maya!" Zig calls.

Before she knew it, Esme ran towards her. She knew she couldn't just grab her and pull her back. Knowing if someone really wanted to go, they will. Startling her won't help. She'd have to talk her down. Esme stayed a couple steps behind Maya. While Zig was right behind her, shocked to his core. He didn't move from Esme's side.

"Maya, please come down" Esme said as her voice cracked. She couldn't do this, not again. Not again. All these years of regretting never getting to her mother in time. Maybe this was her second chance to save someone. "Please" She begged as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Maya laughed. "Isn't this what you wanted?"

No, she wanted to scream. No, never. She would never wish this on anyone. She never wanted anyone to kill themselves. But she didn't respond, hoping Maya would walk towards her to continue this conversation and not jump.

"It's too late" Maya says, still on the edge. But it brought Esme some sense of comfort that she was still talking. But then Esme tried to put the pieces together. Too late? She wondered what she did before this.

Maya laughs again in her loopy state. "If the jump doesn't kill me the pills will"

"Pills" Esme echoed, her voice barely above a whisper. She suddenly got flashbacks to finding her mom after she got off the bus from school. She remembered running around excited, her awards certificate in her hands. Eager to show her mom her proud accomplishment. She remembers checking the garden, the kitchen, her mom's room. But she found in her the bathroom. The empty pill bottle next to her mom's body. Those memories played over and over. Tears blurred her vision and she did her best to get back to reality.

 _She's not your mom, she's not your mom._ She tells herself. _You'll save her, no matter what_.

"We need to get you to a hospital, quickly" Esme says, back to reality. Though she knew the hospital doesn't save everyone. But they had to save Maya, they just had too.

"Maya please, hear me out" Esme begged. "Zig told me why you kissed him. I forgive you" Those words were hard to admit, but she had to say them. "You wanted to be your old self because you were sad. You can be your old self if you step down and let us take you to the hospital"

"He told me about some of the stuff you've been through, he's so worried about you. People love you. Please, no one deserves to go through what you did. Please come down" She was crying now, tears streaming down her face.

"I'm never going to be the old me" Maya says, back still towards them, looking forward." I'm never going to be happy"

"You'll never find out if you die" Esme argued. She wanted nothing more then to grab her right there and then, sensing the hesitancy. It was the perfect moment.

" Zig told me about Cam" She says, playing all her cards. "Remember everything you felt loosing him. You really want to put that on others again?" She knew that mentioning Cam was low, she felt bad, but she had to do anything in her power to save her.

"Don't you dare speak about Cam!"

Esme knew she did it, after this point she knew Maya wouldn't do it.

"You want the school to go through another suicide? What about your friends? What about your family?"

"Cam had me, he knew that. I have no one" Maya argued. Esme waited for Zig to protest, but he stayed shocked.

"I know we aren't friends but you have me. You have Zig. Grace. Your family" She scattered her brain for people but decided to go with the route that got her talking. "I know loosing Cam was hard. You want to put that pain on everyone you love?"

"I'm a burden just by being alive" Maya says. "I've always hated Cam for what he did, but now I understand. It's the only way out"

Angered by the fact she wasn't dead yet, Maya voice became harsh. "What the hell do you know anyway?"

"When I was ten, my mom killed herself, I was the one that found her" Esme admits. "So if you think you're alone, you're not. I understand what it's like to lose someone you love to suicide. To spend years thinking you could've done something to save them. To wish things went differently. To drown in your own depression and think it's a solution. I understand"

"What?" Was all Maya could respond, turning around swiftly making her loose balance.

Before anything could happen, Zig rushed over to her and pulled her in his arms. He hugged her tightly to his chest and held her there. Esme watched the scene in silence, glad he got he got her down, glad she kept her talking long enough. She just prayed they got to the hospital in time. She called 911 as Zig comforted Maya.

"You aren't dying. Not today. Not tomorrow. We are getting you to a hospital" He says, his voice calm, in control. Then once he continued his voice cracked. "You can't do this. You aren't leaving" He says as his tears landed on her hair. "You aren't leaving your mom, your sister, Grace"

"You aren't leaving me" He says, as Maya's arms slip off of him and falls into unconsciousness.

Zig holds her. "Maya!"

Her lips turned blue and her mouth foamed. An ambulance alarm went off into the distance.

Esme cried and hugged both of them to her. "She'll be okay, I called. We were just in time, any more seconds later..." She trailed off, not wanting to think about it.

Doctors bursted through the rooftop door and took Maya from Zig's arms and strapped her to a gurney.

"We got her from here, don't worry" One of them said, it was all a blur from there.

Before they go to follow, Esme hugs Zig tightly. He was nearly as shaken up as she is.

"She'll be okay, she'll be okay" She tells him, and tells herself too. "She'll be okay" Zig kisses her forehead softly and holds on to her hand.

"Let's go to the hospital"

 **a/n: So the rest of the story is how the rest of the episode went. I hope you like this alternate ending. When I read the summary for this episode, I thought this was going to happen. I thought Maya was going to be talked out of it. But she actually did it, she attempted to end her life. So this was just an idea I had. Hope everyone was in character and you enjoyed. Feel free to share your thoughts.**

 **Have a wonderful day**

 **-Summer**


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